Some Things Better Left Unspoken II

It's not the kisses that he's scared of
It's not the sex that he's afraid of
It's the feeling
That feeling that might
Crawl back up again to his heart
The feeling that he himself has no control over it

It's all became clear now
When he saw her
There's no more connection
There's no more sparks that usually burns between them
When he saw her eyes
It's....empty
There is no love
There is no fire whatsoever
It's just....eyes that did not glows back at him

That hurts him
He's so sad
He had to live knowing that
The girl he love
Is no longer loves him
He tried to cry in the night
Beside her, while she was deep in her sweet, sweet dreams
He couldn't
So he prayed

Sure it was beautiful in the morning
Seems like God gave him permission
To at least feel her touch
They cuddled
One thing led to another...
It was not on his plan though
He was just caressing her
Secretly loving her from his deepest heart
He's enjoying every second of it
Breathe in and breathe out
Because that, could be the last moment
That he's able to feel her touch again

Oh the kiss
It was different though
It's lust
Not love like it used to
He pretended not to care
But he did notice

She left
So he's alone now
Again
In his room
Looking back to the things that just happened
Pathetic, right?

Before she left she told him
Not to go out again by himself
Because he seemed depressed and stuff
He didn't understand
He thought
"You left me alone, and now you dare telling me not to go out by myself?"
"What am I supposed to do then? Kill myself?"

Oh he did try
Went out with some girls
But....
That just made him sad
Because...
Those girls
They didn't know what he's talking about
They have different preferences
They didn't share the same taste in music
Jokes that he told them, they did not understand any of it!

That made him questioned himself
"Will I ever be able to get past her?"
"Can I at least get her out of my head for just a minute?"
"Can I live the rest of my life not loving her?"
"What if......What if someday we're back together again?"

All those thoughts and questions
Confuses him
That no matter how hard he tries
He would just go back to her
Over and over again
Until one moment, everything stops
All those thoughts stops flowing to his head
And he whisper to himself

"Shit, I will always love her, won't I?"